WIEINMYPANTS

Wanna know what I wished for before blowing out the candles?

You.

My friends ask me why. They ask me why I'm taking so long to get over you. They ask me what's holding me back from letting you go. You know the reason why I fell so hard (or why I am falling so hard) is because you were my everything. I still think about you every night before I go to bed. I still wish you were here even though it's been so long. I still cry for you. It's a habit. Ok I really don't care if this sounds stupid and childish and what have you. I really don't care if I sound like a fool. I have aways been a fool for you, anyway. What's new.

It is 12:20am and it suddenly hits me that,
I really, really loved you. I'm not even kidding.

This post isn't meant for you. It is a reminder to myself of how much I am willing to go through for you. There are so many choices and decisions to make in life. I can let go of certain things, I can stop doing certain things, I can curb some of my worst habits but some things I will not compromise. Anything concerning you I will not compromise. I want to fight for you, but I don't know how to. I wish I was brave enough.

I need you. You hear me? I said I need you. I had a purpose in life. Whatever life may have thrown at me I knew I wouldn't crack. For the simplest reason. You were there. That simple. I looked forward to everyday. I was happy. This is the most gue;irfiegdufrhnj.bmcjiur cliche line in history but there was meaning to life. Now, I live for nothing. I can't see you I can't talk to you I. Am. Nothing. I am Empty. I am nothing without you. I am in hell and why is that so? Because you were my everything.

"The burn of missing you comes from the same flame as the passion of loving you." I guess this just sums it all up.

This foolish, stupid, naive broken hearted me is still waiting for you to come back even though she knows full well you never will.